So I have been studying the Old Testament, in the Bible. I currently have been studying Deuteronomy, and had an epiphany today, of how this particular Book of Scripture applies to me and my life.
So the Children of Israel and their leader, and Gods prophet, Moses have been wondering in the wilderness for about 40 years. Most of the original generation that was delivered, by the Lord, from Egypt have died off. During these 40 years, the Israelites have gone through cycles of Great Faith in the Lord and cycles of doubt. Sometimes they have been extremely Obedient to the Lord and Moses, and sometimes they have been extremely naughty and disobedient to the Lord and His prophet, Moses. During obedient cycles they witnessed Great Miracles, during cycle of disobedience they received plagues etc. It took one day for the Lord to deliver them out of Egypt, but it would take 40 years, to get Egypt out of them.
Through all of this Moses has loved and cared for them and done his best to turn there hearts to God. Moses has been humble and faithful before the Lord. Now after all these years, all Moses’s hard work and sacrifice and obedience to the Lord will be rewarded, the Lord finally says “ it’s time to go into the Promised Land” BUT………….and it’s a big BUT……………, the Lord tells Moses that he( Moses), does not get to go with them. Moses is told to get Joshua and get him ready in all things to take over as the Prophet and the leader of the Children of Israel. It will be Joshua, not Moses, who will lead the people into their Promised Land.
Now at this point I take pause. Hold on a minute, after ALL Moses has done, and suffered for his people, now he doesn’t get to see the reward of ALL his hard work? After all his Faithfulness to the Lord, Moses has to stay behind? How fair is that? I have to wonder if Moses, maybe, got a little angry at the Lord. But as we study on, we see that Moses humbly and faithfully accepted the Lords Will. He had also learned, after 40 years of wondering, to “Trust in the Lord……and lean not unto his own understanding”.
In a very human moment, he does ask if he can just see the Promised Land, so the Lord has him climb to the top of the mountain and look in every direction. Moses sees the Promised Land, but only from afar. Moses then prepares Joshua, in all things, and Joshua takes over as the Israelites new leader and Gods Prophet. Faithful, Humble Moses, doesn’t doubt, doesn’t get mad and throw a tantrum, Moses faithfully obeys Gods word.
Studying this reminded me of a time, not so long ago, when I had been in an assignment , in my church, I loved my assignment, I gave it all my heart, I was so careful to make sure that I led in the Lords way, not mine. I spent countless hours, on my knees, praying to know Gods will concerning the precious youth I had been called to lead. And then, suddenly, after such a short time in the calling, new leadership in our church was called and they released me. I felt hurt, betrayed, blindsided, angry……..just about every emotion. Instead of trusting that the Lord had a better plan for me, I raged. It took me months before I could talk to the new Bishop again, I was so hurt. I felt lost, and didn’t know where I belonged. As time went by, and I wasn’t ask to do anything else in our Ward, I felt like no one wanted me or needed me. I had never not had a calling or assignment. Over a year went by, a year of feeling not wanted or needed in my Ward( church community). I lost my confidence, I went into a depression, I was lost, forgotten and no one cared.
After a while, instead of wallowing in self pity( which is so not me), I turned to the Lord. As I did I felt impressed that there were many others in our Church family, who also felt like they had been forgotten. I felt impressed to seek them out , not to feed into there feelings, but to comfort and visit and help them know that the Lord had not forgotten them. He loved them so much, and if they would turn to Him, He could heal there wounded hearts. As I have tried to seek out those, that the Lord guides me to, who are struggling just as I have, my wounded heart is healing. God is healing me, as I try to help others know that He has not forgotten them.
Even though I hope this kind of thing never happens again, I am grateful for what I have and continue to learn. It’s been over 1 1/2 years now since that fateful day, when I was released and went into a tailspin, but looking back, I can now see that the Lord had a better plan for me. A harder plan, but better. It has also helped me notice those around me who’s “ hands hang down”, and as I try to lift them and help them know that their Lord has not forgotten them, I know He has not forgotten me, and even when I couldn’t see Him, because of my pain, He was ALWAYS right there beside me, waiting for me to see, hear and turn to Him.
Jesus Christ is truly my Lord, my Savior, my ONLY safe harbor, as I go through storms in my life, I must humble myself, as Moses, and swallow my pride, as Moses, and trust that Gods way is not just a better ways but the ONLY way for joy in this life. He lives, He loves us, He never abandons us or forgets us, we are “ Graven on the palms of His hands and our walls are continually before Him”. I love Him, I know that my Redeemer lives, what comfort this sweet sentence gives.
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